Iranian President’s speech (Funny)

Uhum, Uhum,

123, 123, voice check….

In the name of God blah blah blah….

Can i have your attention please, this is the Iranian President speaking to you….hello, anyone out there? Hello would you please sit down and listen to me…. hey i’m talking to you…. yes you…. aaaahhhhh, hell with you guys, who cares if no body gives a damn about my bullshit i will do what i’m good in and that’s LYING.

So yes, i want to start by talking about freedom:

I personally believe that freedom is very very very good, it’s so good that i actually believe that we Iranians don’t deserve it. But the poor people of the United States living under such an authoritarian regime should get up and fight for freedom. Don’t let me even start on the Iraqis and the Gazans and the Latin American countries, but Iranians better just shut up and suck it all in because come on, who needs freedom when they got meeeeeeee?! the most popular person on earth

The second topic which i think is of utmost importance is the accusations of killings and stuff;

Just as the good old Mighty Python once said in the Holy Grail; “Let’s not fight over who killed who.” Who cares. My argument is that if Americans and the British come all  the way to the Middle East to kill Iraqis and Afghans, why can’t i kill my own people? ha? what’s wrong with that? If i had more money believe me i would go to another part of the world as well but at the moment i have to kill and rape my own people, and as you see they got no problem with it. They love me.

Now i want to talk about Racism, yes, Racism…. aha, see i got you there… We might not let Afghans go to school here, or we might not let a mother pass her nationality to her kids and therefore many kids with foreign fathers (mostly Afghan) have no identity and are being exploited every day, so what!!!!!!!! You are the bad guys anyway; you had slavery and you guys killed the native Americans, we just exploit Afghans.

So i think no one’s left in the room ….. Uhum….

Oh! Now that only the Iranians are here, let me just talk a little about our Hidden Imam; Imam Zaman; isn’t he the greatest? isn’t he just super cool? All the guys who love Imam Zaman put yo hands up in the air, wave them like you Just don’t care……yey, …..

thank you , thank you…

(Iranian delegation clapping like monkeys.)

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